Suicide

As most people know by now because it has been mentioned in the paper or, I guess, initially, on the tv right after Kevin disappeared, a couple of Kevin's supposed friends said that Kevin was or had been suicidal. I even think at a later date, perhaps when I was here for the search in early November, one news station said Kevin was at Flanagan's, said, "where's the river?" and took off from there to committ suicide. Obviously that was totally wrong. I didn't see any of the newscasts, and not that one either, but I learned many years ago that papers and news broadcasts can make mistakes and do. What they report can be very inaccurate as, in my case, it was when I was in a bank robbery. I was a teller at the time, was right there in the middle of the whole thing. The next day I read the account in the paper and there were alot of inaccuracies. Anyway, a friend of mine did call the news station and told them that they were wrong - not that it did any good - regarding Kevin's situation.

To date I haven't had the time to research "suicide" but I have talked to alot of people about it and "self-mutilation", too, over the past year and a half. Alcohol is a depressant as most everybody knows. I'm sure that made Kevin depressed at times. Self-mutilation, I've been told, is not indicative of suicide. Even one of the police detectives told me that. Suicide usually happens very close to home and not on a Saturday night while someone is out with his friends. That's another persons opinion. There was no note which happens sometimes. Kevin didn't give away things that belong to him as happens also if someone is planning to kill themselves. As I said before, his apartment was as he left it and as if he planned to return to it. I don't know whether impulsivity is a factor in suicide but I feared that Kevin got a notion in his head and then impulsively did something. When I visited the Royal Mile Bar and realized how far it was from the river it eased my fears. As despondent as he might have been it was a long walk down to the river and plenty of time, sights and distractions to break any suicidal thoughts he might have had while sitting at the bar.

Years ago I had read an article in the local paper. It sticks in my mind at this point. Once again one persons opinion but maybe someone expert in the field. It said that depressed persons aren't the ones who committ suicide. It's almost that they're use to feeling low and despondent. Maybe, too, it's their way of coping and perhaps it works for them. It seems more to be the person who hasn't had to deal with depression who is more apt to committ suicide when something goes wrong in their life. Then there's drinking. True or not, although I tend to believe it, people who drink too much don't tend to kill themselves. I guess you would say that they are, but in a different way, and more slowly...

So I don't believe the suicide theory. Actually it's amazing to me that so much credibility has been given to Kevin's friends' interpretation of Kevin's mental state...