In The Midst of Mother's Day
This week has flown by. I haven't had time to think about much of anything but the few brief moments when I have, I'm still sitting at the computer with Brian on Mother's Day. I was starting to write something in my head and Brian asked if I wanted to do a blog. I did, but didn't want to take away from my special time with him. It was special and fun, for me anyway, and this year Brian took over the Mother's Day detail as Kevin had a few years ago. (that year Brian brought me an ice cream cake but was with Jaylynn, I think. Kevin and I went walking, he actually walked the five miles with me and then we went to A'-Dong for lunch! It seems like I've written about this before but perhaps not. A very special memory and a very special Mother's Day. On my walk there's one section, 33rd St. to 31st St., so, 2 blocks, where I run up the hill. I told Kevin that I had to run up these two blocks and so I would wait for him at the top. He laughed and took off up the hill and, of course, beat me. I'll never forget that, and his bemused laughter that I was going to beat him up the hill!)
Brian and I went to A'-Dong for lunch, too, something I had wanted to do last year but didn't have a chance to do. We then went back to his place and did computer things. Hunted for music, songs, and even down-loaded a Pink Floyd video from the Live Aide concert at my request. It was really neat since I'm so backwards when it comes to the computer. But I'm still there, sitting at the computer.
All this week I've been thinking about the title but it has been coming out "In the midst of motherhood". I've had to say to myself, no, it's "mother's day" not "in the midst of motherhood". I wondered why this kept popping into my mind. Well, once you're a mother, one is always in the midst of... that will never change. Once you're a mother, you're always a mother, until the day you die. A girlfriend of mine talked about one's life intentions. If one looks over one's life, they , he or she, can figure that out by the focus or situations which take up ones energy. Undoubtedly mine is motherhood. The biggest joy, and the biggest sorrow of my life. And thanks to our excessive commercialism, it is ever brought into the forefront once a year in May whether we, or I, like it or not.
The Magnolias are gone. The Daffodils are gone. The Tulips are gone. The Iris are in full bloom. A flower which always reminds me of my mother. She would always say an Iris is a poor man's Orchid. Actually, I think because of my shanty Irish background I have always preferred Iriss anyway. Along around Friday I realized that because I had been so consumed with the loss of Kevin, and not being able to be with him on Mother's Day, I hadn't even thought of my own mother on Sunday. A psychic told me that Kevin was with my mother. I hope so. I hope Kevin is with Minerva and Justin Martin, his paternal grandparents, too, and my father who knew him as a baby, and his favorite dog, Morgaine as well. I hope more than anything that that is true.
So, I'm still sitting at the computer with Brian right in the midst of my Mother's Day celebration almost a week later. In the midst of motherhood with everything that entails and trying to put my entire life into perspective. So, this year was a difficult Mother's Day but I'm so thankful to have Brian, and to have had Brian with me, to share a painfull mother's day, 2006.
Brian and I went to A'-Dong for lunch, too, something I had wanted to do last year but didn't have a chance to do. We then went back to his place and did computer things. Hunted for music, songs, and even down-loaded a Pink Floyd video from the Live Aide concert at my request. It was really neat since I'm so backwards when it comes to the computer. But I'm still there, sitting at the computer.
All this week I've been thinking about the title but it has been coming out "In the midst of motherhood". I've had to say to myself, no, it's "mother's day" not "in the midst of motherhood". I wondered why this kept popping into my mind. Well, once you're a mother, one is always in the midst of... that will never change. Once you're a mother, you're always a mother, until the day you die. A girlfriend of mine talked about one's life intentions. If one looks over one's life, they , he or she, can figure that out by the focus or situations which take up ones energy. Undoubtedly mine is motherhood. The biggest joy, and the biggest sorrow of my life. And thanks to our excessive commercialism, it is ever brought into the forefront once a year in May whether we, or I, like it or not.
The Magnolias are gone. The Daffodils are gone. The Tulips are gone. The Iris are in full bloom. A flower which always reminds me of my mother. She would always say an Iris is a poor man's Orchid. Actually, I think because of my shanty Irish background I have always preferred Iriss anyway. Along around Friday I realized that because I had been so consumed with the loss of Kevin, and not being able to be with him on Mother's Day, I hadn't even thought of my own mother on Sunday. A psychic told me that Kevin was with my mother. I hope so. I hope Kevin is with Minerva and Justin Martin, his paternal grandparents, too, and my father who knew him as a baby, and his favorite dog, Morgaine as well. I hope more than anything that that is true.
So, I'm still sitting at the computer with Brian right in the midst of my Mother's Day celebration almost a week later. In the midst of motherhood with everything that entails and trying to put my entire life into perspective. So, this year was a difficult Mother's Day but I'm so thankful to have Brian, and to have had Brian with me, to share a painfull mother's day, 2006.
posted by Patricia | 9:03 AM
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