Diary of a Mother's Mission

I didn't make that title up but I liked it. Every once in awhile I've said it to myself, read it on Kevin's website, and wondered what it meant, what I was doing, what I hoped to do. I guess this, my blogs, were suppose to be about the "investigation", progress, updates, etc. Well, there isn't any investigation and there never was one. The police scurried around and interviewed a handfull of people when I complained and told them I was coming out here to have a search. They knew there would be media attention and so were covering themselves. When I arrived out here in August I was told Kevin wasn't a priority and they insinuated, really like very subtle inuendo, although they couldn't really come out and say it because they have no proof, that he commited suicide. March 27th I saw Lt. Tunks and he told me he would get back to me regarding going over Kevin's file. He never did. About a month and a half ago I spoke to Lt. Jorgenson, a Polk Co. sherriff, someone I had spoken to before. He felt that I should go back to the police dept. and talk to Chief McCarthy first. I think he's right but this is not something I'm looking forward to doing. In my opinion McCarthy was very nasty to a woman who was seeking answers about her missing child. I was there alone. Actually I think it was done to intimidate me and it certainly did.

I'm having a hard enough time trying to do my job plus I took on the committment to refurbish a little house. Fortunately it is almost complete, at least the basics anyway, and my involvement with N.F.C.(they hold the escrow money to fix up the house and tell you what needs to be done) It's a wonderful program but it will be a tremendous relief when my involvement with them is done. Kevin is on my mind all the time. (as is Terry) As soon as the Holiday's are over I plan to try a few things. I haven't given up on the possibility of a new investigation. I've been told many things, though, including just backing off and doing nothing. My involvement with the house has kind of forced that issue but no one has come forward, nothing has changed. Things happen as there suppose to happen, or so I've been told.

Yesterday I received a notice that I was in violation of city codes. There was a very neat little pile of rubble in the back, way away from the road. I had begun to check on a few possibilities to get it removed when I got, what I considered to be a harrassing correspondence from the city. Anyway, that very afternoon someone came to remove the garbage. I wish the "City of Des Moines" was as diligent in other matters like investigating the disappearance and death of one of its citizens. They don't have enough money for the police but they seem to have enough money to pay the house police and the weed inspectors. Yes, I got a notice about that, too. Two notices of violation and I've only lived there for four and a half months, owned it for not even six and a half months. The city just built a new skating rink which is now open, they're putting in a new terrace garden in front of the Capitol; amazing. But the police have no resources. I met Mayor Frank Cownie at the 100th anniversary of our union - the A.T.U. I'm not a member but did go at the request of my girlfriend. I didn't say anything to him about Kevin although I felt like it. After the Holidays I will go to city hall. Perhaps he will remember me, especially if I wear my D.A.R.T. uniform. I'd like to tell him my concerns, my opinion, about his city.

So what is my mission? I might not ever be able to accomplish anything regarding a new investigation, what really happened to Kevin, but I can work towards that end. The Truth. If that never happens, but really more important than that, is that his memory is kept alive. Kevin isn't defined by how he died, although the truth should always be known, and so I hope as many people as possible will know about him, his uniqeness, as is every other individual life. No one wants their loved one, their child to die in vane and I don't either. Kevin had a life and a story to tell, too, so perhaps that's my bigger and most important mission...