Diary of a Mother's Mission

My son, Kevin Martin, disappered under mysterious circumstances in the wee hours of July 18, 2004. His partial remains were found on February 1, 2005 in the river. The Des Moines Police have not been helpful and this is my blog to tell what I have done as it's done.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

The Book

I had started to talk to Kevin about religion. Not organized religion but my religious or spiritual beliefs. A girlfriend of his had given him a book about angels and from that I purchased a book for him, along spiritual lines, although I think the history aspect was what really appealed to him. It was a play, a dialogue, between John F. Kennedy, C.S. Lewis and Aldous Huxley. I mentioned this before and the fact that all three men died within hours of each other. It was a dialogue about their three different approaches and beliefs about God and life. Why I was approaching the subject of God and religion so gingerly , I don't know. I guess I had always considered the subject to be very personal, something which developed over the years as ones beliefs matured. Perhaps now I feel differently as I never had the chance, I never took the chance, of bringing up the subject with Kevin and now it's too late. I would have given him a copy of the book which changed my life. Perhaps it wouldn't have appealed to him as much as it did me, I'll never know, but at least I should have tried.

I did give a copy of the book to Brian, and to Terry, for his birthday. The book is "How To Let God Help You" by Myrtle Fillmore, one of the founders of the Unity School of Christianity. Each person is an individual with a different set of experiences, as Terry was, as Brian is, as Kevin was. Perhaps the book would not have "spoken" to them as it did to me, but at least I wanted to offer to them something which meant so much to me. Something which changed my life.

Politely, Terry thanked me for the book when I spoke to him. I don't think I ever brought it up again but I certainly hoped that he would give it a try. Terry's memorial or funeral service was over when Carl, Terry's friend from the second grade, the one who lived downstairs and found Terry that day, stepped up and said that he would like to say a few words. He mentioned the book that I had given Terry and how he had caught Terry reading it a few times. Of course, Terry quickly put the book aside when Carl came in the apartment. He mentioned ,too, that during one of their conversations, Terry said that he did believe in God which made Carl very happy. I couldn't believe that wonderful gift that Carl had given me at the 13th hour. To know that Terry had read even a few words, had just opened the book, was all that I needed to hear. It was like a miracle!

So, no one ever knows. Kevin might not have ever picked the book up. Maybe Brian hasn't either, but at least I should have tried in Kevin's case. I learned my lesson, and so Brian and Terry both got a copy of this very special, precious, book.