St. Patrick's Day
This is one of those other anniversary dates that I spoke of which brings happiness and sorrow because it was a special day for Kevin. Maybe not as special to him as I make it out to be or as special as it has become to me but a special day, I think. This morning I drove a different way to work so that I could go by Flanagan's to see if the big white tent was put up yet. It was. Each year they have this special celebration which I'm sure was alot of extra work for Kevin and the others but I still think it was something he looked forward to. Kevin is very Irish anyway and was well aware and proud of his heritage so it wasn't only the flanagan's once a year party which would have meant something to him.
I thought of stopping at Flanagan's after work. I don't know whether I will or not. I guess my feeling is that my presence there might dampen the festivities, at least for the short time I'm there anyway. That's sad, isn't it? It has brought to mind my many visits to Flanagan's shortly after Kevin disappeared. On many occasions I was greeted cooly almost to the point of feeling not welcome there. But really instead of trying to define the way they reacted to me I guess I could just say that I don't think they reacted in a normal way. Many of them, not all of them. I could understand people feeling uncomfortable because they didin't quite know what to say but this was not that way in my opinion. My opinion was that they felt uncomfortable for other reasons. Many times, and especially now as I look back on it, some of Kevin's friends and or co-workers did not act in an appropriate way towards the mother of their friend who was supposedly missing.
As I mentioned before I visited Flanagan's once many months after I arrived here in Des Moines. Flanagan's was such a special place to Kevin but that day I didn't get a really strong feeling of connectedness with him. I was glad for that although there were many special times when I sat next to him at the bar and talked with him. So I certainly have special memories which I would like to hold onto - and forget the unpleasant ones. So perhaps I will drop by this evening. I think this was a really special day for him and so perhaps I will get that kind of feeling as I sit in his surroundings and toast him - Happy St. Patrick's Day Kevin, Sweetheart.
I thought of stopping at Flanagan's after work. I don't know whether I will or not. I guess my feeling is that my presence there might dampen the festivities, at least for the short time I'm there anyway. That's sad, isn't it? It has brought to mind my many visits to Flanagan's shortly after Kevin disappeared. On many occasions I was greeted cooly almost to the point of feeling not welcome there. But really instead of trying to define the way they reacted to me I guess I could just say that I don't think they reacted in a normal way. Many of them, not all of them. I could understand people feeling uncomfortable because they didin't quite know what to say but this was not that way in my opinion. My opinion was that they felt uncomfortable for other reasons. Many times, and especially now as I look back on it, some of Kevin's friends and or co-workers did not act in an appropriate way towards the mother of their friend who was supposedly missing.
As I mentioned before I visited Flanagan's once many months after I arrived here in Des Moines. Flanagan's was such a special place to Kevin but that day I didn't get a really strong feeling of connectedness with him. I was glad for that although there were many special times when I sat next to him at the bar and talked with him. So I certainly have special memories which I would like to hold onto - and forget the unpleasant ones. So perhaps I will drop by this evening. I think this was a really special day for him and so perhaps I will get that kind of feeling as I sit in his surroundings and toast him - Happy St. Patrick's Day Kevin, Sweetheart.
posted by Patricia | 8:03 AM
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