Diary of a Mother's Mission

My son, Kevin Martin, disappered under mysterious circumstances in the wee hours of July 18, 2004. His partial remains were found on February 1, 2005 in the river. The Des Moines Police have not been helpful and this is my blog to tell what I have done as it's done.

Monday, January 09, 2006

My Little Vegan

The post Holiday doldrums. I'm as gloomy as the skies have been over Des Moines the past few weeks although I look out the window right now and I see nothing but blue! There are some pressing issues on my mind this morning. Kevin and my next step. The things I put off since I got here 5 months ago. And another issue that is aort of related to Kevin but which I will probable not talk or write about. So why food? Kevin worked at Flanagan's restaurant and Lounge as perhaps some of you know. I think Kevin's many talents lied along many different lines. Perhaps his interest in food was a result of his work although I think his employment showed that he was a natural manager and that he would have moved on in that direction, the food would have been secondary. It was difficult for him to be a manager because of personal reasons. I don't think he wanted to be a boss to his friends. He also didn't think he had the qualifications to run the kitchen although he did it and did it well.

Kevin wasn't a true vegan I don't think because he would eat chicken and eggs. I'm not even sure that a vegan will eat fish. Kevin ate fish too. Many was a time when Kevin visited me or I think it was more me inviting him to my apartment and I would cook a little something for him. Usually it would be a turkeyburger since I didn't have much else that he would eat. He didn't eat enough, I felt, and so I was always trying to feed him. I'm not a vegan and every now and then I really crave a good piece of red meat. Kevin and I always talked about food because of our common interest and so on occasion would go to a restaurant for lunch and frequently ended up at his favorite, Adong, which is Vietnamese and vegetarian.

When I came out to visit Kevin he took me to Flanagan's for dinner. When Kevin had visited New York he fixed steak Daburgo(sp) for us , a receipe from Flanagan's and so I was really anxious to try it there. Fortunately Tim picked up the tab for Kevin's sandwhich since the steak Daburgo wasn't cheap. It was fantastic! It was a fantastic evening since at that point I couldn't have told you when I last had the opportunity to go out to dinner. The whole evening was special as was my first visit to Des Moines to see Kevin.

I've been thinking about food since New Year's Eve as I indulged in hummus and horseradish cheese and so reminiced about my little vegan and the interest in food we shared together. And it's so sad because I have to catch myself. Right before Christmas I went out to lunch and my inclination would have been to rush home or stop at Flanagan's and tell Kevin about the gormet meatloaf sandwhich I had plus the fact I had been to a new place and had he heard about it.

The other day I visited Flanagan's for the first time since I moved back. The place where Kevin worked and spent so much time. It's hard for me to consider it anything but a bar but then I do remembr that wonderful Steak Daburgo I had there that night with Kevin. After Kevin's memorial service I wanted to be at Flanagan's. I sat there at the bar with him many a time and so it was a comfort to be where he and I had been. Where he had spent so much of his young life. This time I didn't get the same feeling. I didn't feel as connected to Kevin by being there and I'm glad. I'll probably go there again but I have other memories with Kevin which aren't tainted as sitting in Flanagan's is. Yes Kevin spent so much time there, it was so much a part of him but my little vegan didn't belong there...

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